Brave

Do you ever just feel like your life just isn't enough? Not that you don't have enough, but that you don't give enough. As a Believer, I want my life to count for the Lord. I want him to be "well pleased" with me. I want my life to be a testimony for Him. His Love. His Faithfulness. His Mercy. His Grace. I sometimes daydream of standing before His throne one day and hearing, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." I don't want to just exist. I want to really make a difference.

Since I was saved at the age of 16, I've had a desire to live for Him. I've made mistakes along the way. I've done and said things I shouldn't have. There have been too many times where I've not been a good example for others as I should have been. But as the years have passed and life has changed, my faith has grown and matured. I understand things now that used to sound crazy and seem foreign to me. Things that it just sometimes takes a bit of maturity in one's Christian walk to really grasp.

As Believers, we should always be growing, learning and maturing in our faith. We do this by reading and studying God's Word, spending time with Him in prayer as well as spending time with other believers and hearing messages at our churches (and retreats, etc.) Just being connected and in constant communication with God.

When I was younger, I didn't have the desire for this maturity or for anything more. For me, being "saved", knowing God loved me, and trying my best to live "right" was good enough for me. In my own little world, in my own little box. I didn't see how my faith related to anyone else.

Even if I didn't always put in the time studying God's word and prayer that I should have, we have always been in church, I've still done lots of bible studies and read lots of books by Christian authors, pastors and teachers. I've still been growing and maturing, whether I really even thought I wanted to or not. Before you knew it, I wanted and desired all those things more than other things in my life that used to be important to me.

Through the years, the desire for greatness has grown little by little. I want to be great as a wife, great in my mothering, a great daughter, a great friend and church member. I don't want to half-heartedly go through life. I just want to do great things in the name of Jesus.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Colossians 3:23-24

God's been working on my heart for a few months on some "great" things. Who knows what will become of all the things that are swirling around in my head and heavy on my heart. Only God does. It's just my job to, with His help, listen, descern and act in a way that will bring honor to Him. Bottom line is, I need to have the faith to do what He asks me to do. He will only ask me to do things because He loves me and knows the "Master" plan and what's best for me for all the days of my life. Not just what's best for today, but best for forever.

After all, our time here on this Earth is like sands in an hourglass. In the scheme of eternity, we're here a moment and we're gone. Our eternal life is what we should be looking towards. Like I would tell my kids, that's forever and ever and ever and ever and ever...

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21

Don't you sometimes wish you could pick up the phone and call God? Like, "Hey, what's up?! It's so good to hear your voice! I just wanted to call and confirm all those things that I think you've been speaking to me about." And He would just say it plainly so we could understand?

Since that's clearly not how it works, I'll just continue to sit back and pray and listen until I feel like I've finally got the game plan down.

I love love love music. I'm always looking for the next best song to add to my collection. It gets me through the day. It keeps me focused on what's important.

Here's one of many of my favorites. The song's been around a long time, but I've only recently heard it. It says what I feel,

"So long status quo, I think I just let go. You make me wanna be brave.
The way it always was, is no longer good enough. You make me wanna be brave."

Status quo is no longer an option for me. Living life only in my little comfort zone isn't an option for me. Nope. I'm going to let God use me for "Great" things. Whatever they may be. I'll not be afraid. I'll just trust and obey. There's no other way!