Wednesday Worship with Gracie

One of her favorites: She sings this one all the time!

My God is So Big
So Strong and So Mighty
There's Nothing My God Cannot Do
For YOU!

Camping at Beaver Dam

Weekend before last we went camping on the river below Beaver Dam for the weekend. We met up with some of Jason's family. His Mom and Dad were there as well as Aunt Cathy, Uncle Guy and Uncle Roger. Uncle Elliot and Jennifer also joined us for the day on Saturday.

My husband and kids have a thing for feeding the coons. This was right outside the camper door, he came right up under the awning and started eating off of the dinner plate they had left for him.

Watching him eat got boring, so Jason took the reel off of Braden's fishing pole, and tied the line around some food and they lured him right below the window in the kids' room in the camper. Rhett and Gracie fell asleep, but I have no idea how late Jason and Braden stayed up toying with this racoon. I went to bed before they did!

Sunday morning, Jason and the boys went down to the river and enjoyed Cathy and Guy's kayak's while everyone else fished. This is Braden in the yellow kayak. (That's Cathy fishing in the water to the left of Braden in the white shirt.)

Daddy and Rhettster
Braden really loved the kayak. He came home and was researching how much money he'd have to save up to buy one for himself. ;)
A beautiful smile on a beautiful day!

After the kayaking and fishing, we went back to Grandma and Grandpa's site to cook and eat breakfast. The boys were riding bikes while we were cooking. Next thing I know...
poor Rhett bites the dust.

He got some pretty gnarly road rash.

These pics are from 2 days after the crash. He limped around for a few days, but he is so tough. He NEVER cried. Seriously, he is the toughest kid I know.

SDC

Since there is no big family vaca in the stars for us this year (or next year for that matter!) we decided to get season passes to Steal Your Dollar City. Er... I mean... Silver Dollar City. This time of year, we don't get to see much of Daddy because he's working and working and working some more. (Any day that he works a "normal" day- like 12 hours or less- I consider a good day for me and the kids! But that doesn't happen very often this time of year.)

So, MeMe came with me and the kids and we checked it out week before last. The kids and I haven't been to SDC in 3 years. Gracie was an infant last time we were there and I spent most of my time in the nursing room... It was nice to get out and see the park this time after so many years.

We had a wonderful day!

I managed to leave the house without my camera again, and forgot to charge my cell phone so it died. But before it completely died, I managed to snap 1 picture of me and Sissy while MeMe and the boys were watching the little outdoor magic show nearby.

We were hot and sweaty, but happy!

The green grass on the other side of the fence

Ever since I became a mom, I wished that I could stay home with my baby. I was financially unable to do so at the time, so I went back to work. I was green with envy of the stay at home moms. I suffered from guilt to the highest degree that I was at work instead of home with my baby.

Then I gave birth again. Another sweet little baby boy. My heart hadn't changed, but neither did our financial situation. And we had another mouth to feed and another to buy diapers for. So, off to work I went again. And I was still jealous.

Mind you, I had everything in the world. A husband who adored me, 2 healthy baby boys, a nice home, a nice car. Loving family. Many great friends. EVERYTHING. But I didn't see it that way. I still felt like I was being jipped because I couldn't have all of that AND be able to afford to stay home.

By the time I had my third child, I suffered from mommy guilt so bad that I couldn't hardly see straight. I cried all the time. I know I was a good mom and did the best I could, but I felt like I was the worst mom in the world. Every single day. As if being a working mom of 3 with a husband who worked way more than the average man (and unfortunately still does) wasn't exhausting enough, I completely exhausted myself with my own constant thoughts of not being good enough.

Some women love going to work. I did not. I don't think I was made up that way. I wanted to be at home with my children.

Slowly, we began to realize that with the amount of money we were spending on child care (do you have any idea how much childcare for 3 children under age 5 costs?!) in addition to the expenses of my working (gas,clothing, etc.) we really weren't holding on to much of my salary anyway.

So, when Gracie was 8 months old, I quit my job to stay home. But not just to stay home, I was becoming an official employee of our company. It would be my responsibility to keep up with all of the office work.

I was getting what I always wanted! I was going to get to stay home with my babies!!! And it was going to help my husband so that he didn't have to shoulder that office work responsibilty any more. We would just adjust our standard of living to deal with the fact that my good paycheck was no more.

I was so glad to be home. But it wasn't long before I started feeling jealous again. You know who I was jealous of now? The stay at home mom. The mom that just got to stay home and take care of her children and her home and didn't have to work at home. Yes, I was home, but I worked from home too. And that was harder than I ever anticipated.

Do you know how hard it is to get office work done with a nursing child attached to you almost 24/7? I didn't either... it's hard. Trust me. When she wasn't hungry, she was usually bored or fussy or sick. I became the champion of using my boppy pillow and nursing with no arms or hands required so I could feed her and type at my keyboard at the same time. And I could also work at the desk and bounce her bouncy seat or rock her car seat with my foot simultaneously. And don't forget about the other two wild boys running around while I was trying to figure out how to keep the infant happy. And one of those boys was going through the "Terrible 3's" at the time. How 'bout them on the job skills? No one ever taught me this stuff in all my business training classes I'd taken through the years! (I have no idea how we all survived that time of life... Honestly, the fact that we're all still alive today just shows how God had mercy on me!)

Three years later, I'm still a work at home mom. I still have days when I have those pangs of jealousy.... looking over to that other side of the fence. When I look at my laundry and dishes piled to the ceiling. When I'm serving my kids spaghetti o's or hot dogs instead of healthy home cooked meals. All because I have to spend most of the day in my office working instead of taking care of those things. The main thing is that I don't have time to really play with my children or spend time with them. I'm up and down from my desk all day making meals and snacks and drinks, being the referee when the sibling rivalries erupt, helping with things, switching laundry, etc. But I feel like I'm scatter brained all day and I don't ever really get much accomplished on any front. And every day I feel guilty that I didn't spend as much quality time with each of the kids as I need to or want to. Or if I do take a day to spend time with the kids, I feel guilty that the office work is behind. The mommy guilt didn't go away, it's just a little different now.

So, I still think the grass looks greener on the stay at home mom side of the fence than it is on the work at home mom side. But, I know that there are moms who are working out of the home who long to be home with their kids and would love to be where I am right now. Just like I sometimes long to be where my stay at home mom friends are.

I've learned alot about being content through the years, and I need to and want to fully embrace everything I have each day without EVER thinking about what I don't. But I'm still a work in progress.... I'm still on the journey. I admit that I still have my days where I longingly look to that other side of the fence.

I recognize that even though I have to work more than I'd like to have to, this is God's plan for my life and I need to do it to the best of my ability every single day. I don't have time for hobbies(I haven't scrapbooked-which I LOVE- since I was 5 months pregnant with Gracie...in 2006) or much time for friends. I don't watch tv (ok, I do dvr a few shows and sometimes I get to watch them late at night after the kids are in bed...) And I know my kids know I love them. I do the best I can and when they get disappointed that I can't do this or that because I'm working, I try to gently and patiently explain to them (again) why I have to work and that I'm working as fast as I can so maybe I can do the thing they're asking me to do soon. I pray that they will always know how much I love them, even when they can't remember the last time I sat down and played a game with them, threw the ball with them or played Barbies.

The moral of the story as I see it:

The grass might indeed be greener on the other side of the fence.

But I HAVE to remember every day... that the grass is pretty green on my side to.

Day at the Lake

Last Sunday afternoon, we went to the lake with our friends The Beyers. They have a very nice boat and we were excited to get to hit the lake with them.

Jas spend the first little bit of his tubing in this position. I wondered how long he'd last!

It lasted a couple minutes before he almost fell off and then turned around and hung on. It was funny watching him try to get himself turned around while the boat was still moving and our friend Jason was swerving and trying to get him to fall off. But he did it! (You didn't think all those muscles were just for looks did you?! :)

The weather was great and the water was very nice!

We had a great day and we all came home exhausted and ready for showers and bed.

Wednesday Worship with Gracie

Ok, so I know the picture looks totally gross...

...but I just had to share this with you!

I've always wanted to introduce two of my best friends and see if they'd hit it off. They are both so wonderful alone, but I always wondered if they'd be just as good together.

In my opinion, they were great together!

Bacon, Meet Chocolate.

Chocolate, Meet Bacon.

Mmmmmmm.

Date Night

Me and my sweet hubby have been spoiled lately! We got to go on a Date Night again... not even 2 weeks after our anniversary date! Woo Hoo! Can you feel the love?!?! I know I can!

We went to Carabba's for the first time. And LOVED every single bite. The Sicilian Chicken Soup was the highlight of our evening. And I've been CRAVING it ever since. A bowl is only $5.50, so I hope that even on our limited budget nowadays that we'll be able to go back and get some of that soup. SOON!!

Mismatch Mania

Tasha had a Mismatch Mania Bunco night at her house last week. I don't normally play, but she needed some fill-in's, so I was glad she asked me to come. It was only the 2nd time I'd ever played in my life, but it was very fun. I was pretty proud of my mismatch outfit.

My favorite part was the hair! Half straight and half curly! I know, I was a beauty...

Did I tell you about the time the fire department came to our house?

My car has been having some issues lately. It's been real fun. NOT! On this particular day, I had my car in the shop having an ac belt and an axle seal replaced. As soon as I picked up my car, I picked Gracie up from school and then we went directly to get gas because I was "running on fumes".

We went straight from the gas station to the house. When we got out of the car, I thought I smelled gas. I checked to be sure the gas cap was on tightly and that none had dripped on the side of the car. Then I went inside to get dinner started.

As I was cooking, I started to smell gas from the inside of the house.

I went to the door to the garage, opened it, and the smell of the fumes about knocked me down.

I looked under the car and saw a nice puddle of gas forming under my car.

I immediately called Jason and he told me not to start it, and sit tight. He called the car dealer where the repairs had been done earlier in the day and they told us to call Roadside Assistance to have the vehicle towed to the dealership. When we called Roadside Assistance, we had to run through a whole list of things. Then they got to the "What seems to be the problem" question. When I said, the car is leaking gas from the gas tank under the vehicle. The agent's voice got a little panicked and I was firmly told, "We cannot transport a vehicle with a gas leak. You must hang up the phone and dial 911 immediately to have the car secured by the fire department."

Ok, so at this point, I'm a little freaked out. Thankfully my knight in sweaty armor (it was a hot day and he had been working!) arrived shortly after and before the fire department arrived.

They got the car started and backed out of our garage so the tow truck could come pick it up.

Turns out the fuel pressure sensor in the fuel tank went out and gas was seeping up through the top of the tank because of all of the excess pressure.

This was a fun day...

Soccer Trip to Little Rock

Braden's soccer season ended mid-May with a weekend trip to Little Rock. We had a blast. The soccer was great. We won some, we lost some. Braden played well and we were very proud. Rhett and Gracie were happy to go along, because we were able to stay in a hotel with an indoor pool!

I was so upset when we got to the hotel and I realized that I had forgotten my camera at home!

So, all I have are these shots from my phone.

Here's Jason and the kids doing some "bed diving"

Here's Braden with the Medal he received and the soccer ball his Daddy bought for him.

What a great weekend! We look forward to many more family soccer weekends!

Wednesday Worship with Gracie(on Thursday)

I let Wednesday slip by!
Here's Gracie's choice for the week.
This is one of those songs that she insists on singing her own way!

Beautiful Wedding

My BFF's little sis got married! We were blessed to be there on their special day. The day was perfect. The location was beautiful, the weather was perfect, and it was a wonderful, sweet celebration.

The kids wanted to sit on the rocks during the ceremony so they could see better.
They sat quietly and did a great job.

Gracie giving her big bubba some lovin's during the ceremony.

I got to get me some serious baby love! Baby Makenzie belongs to some super sweet great friends of ours Matty and Cassie. I walked her around and loved on her while her Mamma was eating dinner. I didn't want to give her back!

Before I did, Gracie got a turn giving her some love too. Oh, how Gracie loves her some babies.

She is going to be a great big sister.

Gracie's Dance Recital

Getting ready

Pretty Honey Bee

Looking at her flower Mamma and Daddy gave her

Handsome Brother
At the end, she received a Spirit Award!

She was happy about it, but thoroughly DONE pictures.
I'm so glad Gracie enjoyed dance this year and did so well.
I hope she will want to do it year after year.

Celebrations

This time of year marked several end of year celebrations for the boys.

First, it was the end of year soccer celebration.

Here's Rhett and Daddy outside the bouncy house at the celebration.Braden got a diploma at the end of year Spanish awards
The boys each got awards for Math and Reading at the end of year awards ceremonies at school.
We are so proud of their hard work and their good grades! They each had great report cards and now we officially have a 4th grader and a 2nd grader. It's not always easy and requires lots of hard work, time and attention, but they always rise to the occasion and turn out great work!

Our Anniversary

On May 29th, we celebrated 11 years of marriage. Wow. 11 years FLEW by. Honestly, we look at each other and can't believe we've been in love for 14 years and married for 11. It's just passed by so fast. We are trying very hard to just enjoy every single minute. In the midst of life, kids, work and all the "kraziness" it's hard. But totally worth our effort to try.

We went out on a date to celebrate. We went to eat at PF Changs and then went to the movies to see not 1, but 2 movies. We've never done that before, but we had the best time. We love to watch movies and especially love going to the movies. Mainly for the popcorn... but also for the big screen and great sound. :)

Here's us in the car after dinner on our way in to the movies.

I hope we have MANY MANY MANY more anniversaries to celebrate together.
I'm so blessed to be married to my best friend. My soul mate. He's the sunshine in my day.
He's the cheese to my macaroni.
Oh, how I love him.

Wednesday Worship with Gracie

I honor of the fact that it's summer and my baby girl is back home with her Mamma 3 days a week, today, I begin a new Wednesday segment on my blog. We're going to call it
"Wednesday Worship with Gracie".

My girl sings her little heart out almost constantly. Sometimes she sings "real" songs, and sometimes she sings songs of her own creation. And sometimes she sings "real" songs with her own interpretation of the words.

She gets to chose which song she will perform. As well as the outfit she wears for her segment.

Here's her choice for her debut.

Link to Vimeo Video of Talent Show

http://vimeo.com/12377854

Check out this link for a professional quality video of Braden and his buddies' talent show performance!!

Braden's Boy Band Debut

Braden and his BFFs formed a little "boy band" (as us mother's have been calling it) to perform in the school talent show. The show was today, their last day of school.
We've had a few practices and they had a previous audition on the stage a couple weeks ago.
They did a GREAT job!!!!


Braden had all kinds of moves planned for his solo part, but I think he kinda froze up in front of all those hundreds of people. Although he says he wasn't nervous at all. He says he just didn't want to do the moves... Regardless, he rocked it out and we were super proud!


(He is in the white shirt and hat)

Gracie Dance Rehearsal Videos

Gracie's dance recital is tomorrow. The rehearsal was tonight. It was Sissy's first time on the stage and she LOVED it. She was upset when it was time to go because she wanted to stay on stage and "dance for the people". I was so proud and happy! I hope she will want to dance for a long time.

(She's got the curly pigtails- and is in the center)

Honeypie

(I just taped her parts of the Opening and Finale)

Opening

Finale (curly pigtails in the center) (she is right between the 2 teachers at the end) Be sure to note the dramatic head flip at the end. Love it!

11 years of wedded bliss

I made my husband a little video for our anniversary. We were still up at midnight-right when it turned the 29th- so I popped it in and we watched it together- three times. And cried all 3 times. It's just amazing to think how FAST 11 years of marriage have gone by. SO many happy memories. Just another reminder to try to slow down and enjoy every single minute.

I'm so thankful that we're so in love. To quote part of Jason's facebook status on the day of our anniversary, "We were so young, but so in love. And the love we have now...doesn't even compare." It's so true. I am a blessed woman.

He encouraged me to share the video, so here it is!