New beds!

We recently got new beds for all of our kids and we are all still so excited! Our kids haven’t slept this well in quite a while… I’m convinced it’s because they’re comfortable now!

We bought a nice full size bed years ago that the boys shared, but when they outgrew it, we traded with Jason’s parents for 2 twin beds.

They worked nicely, but they were not really good enough for sleeping on every single night. So, we traded back for the full bed and purchased a 2nd full size bed.

Their room is full of beds now! But, we anticipate being able to move the kids around sometime after we get the baby home and the boys will then have their own rooms, so they will have plenty of room for the big beds then.

 

Gracie was still sleeping on her baby crib mattress in her toddler bed, and she had way outgrown it!

The baby is going to need that mattress, so we knew we had to get her a new bed before the she comes home.

We opted for a twin size. My dream was to get a trundle bed and I stumbled upon a really good deal on the bed and mattresses, so we were able to buy it for her! It even has 3 storage drawers and that is a total bonus. We can always use more storage!

Here’s she and Rhett “having a sleep over” the first night.

I really want to paint the bed a country white color, but haven’t had time. I’m planning to paint my kitchen cabinets the same color at some point, so as soon as I get ready to do the kitchen, I’ll just make sure I have some extra paint to do the bed at that time. As much as I’d like to have it done, like, tomorrow… I barely have time to get a shower most days…so sadly, it’s gonna be a while longer!

Overheard tonight at prayer time… and some rambling thoughts

Here’s my favorite snippets from each of the kids’ prayers tonight.

Gracie: “Thank you for my birthday and thank you that we had a good Christmas. Not today, but that other day.”

Braden: “Thank you for the good dinner we had tonight. I’m so thankful for our family.”

Rhett: “I pray that Baby Khloe gets to come home soon, that I would have a good day at school tomorrow (LOVE this.) and (here comes the best part!!) please help me to not give my Mom a hard time in the morning.”

Rhett’s our “typical” middle child and our strong willed child. He and I had a bit of a hard afternoon, but we worked it out, had a nice talk and it turned out to be a nice evening. He has days where he is completely sweet and obedient all day. Where he’s helpful and kind and respectful no matter what.  And then there are days where the sweetness is hard to come by and obeying the simplest rules/requests seem to be completely impossible for him. Thankfully, as he is getting older, we are having more good days than bad days. I love him so much, he makes us laugh and is such a joy.  I can’t imagine my life without him for a second, even though sometimes I collapse in bed in tears after a hard day.

The Lord recently convicted me in that I’ve been trying too hard to “fix” him and haven’t been simply praying for him enough. So, I’ve committed the past several days to praying for him specifically almost constantly throughout the day. I plan to continue praying specifically for him more than I did in 2010. I trust that God will show me what to say and what to do to be the best parent for him and I trust that He will help Rhett to control his emotions and help him make good decisions.

But that prayer tonight… brought tears to my eyes. For the first time, I heard him verbally express that he cares. He desires to try to do better and make good decisions.

Thank you, Lord! We are making some progress!

Sometimes I need to just let go (in this case, of striving for perfectionism in the area of my children) and let God.

I’m sure we will always have good days and bad days…what family doesn’t. But, I KNOW that Rhett is going to “turn out” just fine. Wonderful, actually. I see so much of his Daddy in him. Those same character traits that make me love Jason so much… I can see them in Rhett. It’s just that he has to learn, for instance, when it’s ok to be stubborn (like when you’re running a business and/or you just have to stand your ground for what you believe in…) or to be funny (not in class, during a church service, or when your mom is trying to teach you a lesson and/or discipline you…).

Ahhh…. I love that boy :)

I’m sure I’m not the only Mom struggling with stuff like this….
Am I??

Dreaming…

This was the view from our hotel room in Jacksonville, FL on the last day of our last vacation in 2009.

Ahhh… to be there again…

Summer weather…hurry back!

My babies

Look at my babies.

This is back when they really were babies. (In 2007)

It was truly a Krazy time, but I really do miss it.

Times passes by so fast.

A reminder to cherish each day.

New Year’s Resolutions- or the lack thereof

I’m just not gonna do it this year…

Year before last, I stuck to it. I said I was gonna read my bible cover to cover and I did.

Last year, I decided I’d read The Message bible cover to cover.

I made it to about May on my reading guide and that’s as far as I got… Shame on me… I really wanted to do it. I will finish it at some point. Hopefully this year.

I’ve been reading my bible, but more certain passages over and over and studying, as opposed to reading it straight through.

I’ve been reading a lot of adoption books, books about Ethiopia,  adoption and books such as, “Crazy Love”,  “The Hole in our Gospel” and “Outlive Your Life”.

Good books. Books that I’ve been learning from and I have enjoyed meditating on the truths in them.

So, I’m not formally making a Resolution this year.

None. No resolutions to lose weight either.

So, I’ve put back on a few pounds in the past few months…. I feel good, I’m healthy and my husband tells me every single day that I’m beautiful (and he means it).

I’m not going to stress over it this year for a change.

I guess maybe I’m going to resolve to quit looking around me and constantly comparing myself to every other woman I see… and feeling like most of the time I am not good enough because I’m not thin enough…and just see myself the way God sees me. From the inside and not the out. What’s in my heart and not what size is on the tag of my jeans.

Wait…NO… I’m not making any resolutions, remember?! :)

Happy New Year, everyone!

I’m certainly looking forward to a wonderful and exciting year in 2011!!

Unexpected feelings

This adoption journey has had me on a roller coaster of emotions for the past 13 or 14 months.

It was almost exactly a year ago that the journey really started for us. We spent November to Mid-April praying, researching and soul searching. Then it was Mid-April that we officially started the process with our agency.

Quite honestly, (I’m a little embarrassed to admit this publicly…)as we were just remotely considering it, I wondered if I could REALLY love an adopted child like I love my biological children. I mean, I thought I could. But how do you know for sure? We were never the couple who always dreamed about and planned for adoption for our family. It actually just kind of came out of nowhere for us. So of course, we had lots of questions…and fears.

When I talked to other adoptive parents, or read books or read blogs, I was assured that I could. Sometimes with a smile and a pat on the back with a “oh, you’ll see!”

So, we took the leap of faith and just trusted that all those people were right and that God had laid all of this on my heart for a reason. We would go forward with the adoption journey and I decided this was something that I didn’t need to be worried about.

And you know what… it wasn’t long before I already knew they were right!

It might sound crazy to someone who’s not experienced it… it did to me at one time as well. But, as soon as we got off the phone for our orientation with our agency, the emotions hit me like a ton of bricks. It was like someone said, “you’re pregnant!”

Before long, I realized that I could honestly say that I loved her already. Just like I loved my biological children when they were in my womb- before I met them. The feelings of anticipation, excitement and joy are no different than when I was pregnant with each of my three biological children.

It’s so weird. I just never really expected the feelings to be so intense. But, it’s such a good thing! It’s such a comfort to me that God is allowing me to feel these emotions so intensely because at one time, I was doubtful that it was possible. Without ever seeing her face, I already love her. So much.

With each day, week and month that passes by, the intensity in the feelings and emotions are getting stronger. I’ve always been the natural Mamma type that intensely loves my babies. I’ve always been the impatient type also. The 9 months of pregnancy seemed like an eternity to me each time as well. I just wanted to get the show on the road and get that baby in my arms. This time, it’s no different. I’m impatient. I’m ready to have my baby in my arms now.

What is different this time is that she’s not physically with me. I can’t feel her. She can’t hear my voice when I speak, sing or pray over her. I have to trust God to keep my children safe every single day. I ask Him to bless them and keep them each day. But there is some element of the “mother hen” in me that makes me feel like I’m the one keeping them safe and protected. While I’m sure I do have a hand in it, ultimately, I know that it’s God who holds them in His hands.

So, while I trust him where my children are concerned every day already, this time around with child #4  it’s a whole different level of trust that I’ve not experienced in my life before now. I have absolutely no part in her safety, health or well being at this point. Nor will I until I make the trip to bring her home. All I can do is pray. This part is hard for me. And I’m sure it also contributes to my impatience! And it is such a good thing! God is shaping me and molding me each day through this process. I’m not the same person I used to be and I hope that each day I’m one step closer to being all He created me to be! I think He’s taught me SO much about trust and faith in the past few years, but now He’s teaching me to trust Him on a deeper level than I ever have before. And I’m so thankful for it! I’m thankful that He is patient and loving as he guides me through these life lessons. I’m sure I’m not the greatest student…

I just look so forward to the day I will get to hold my new daughter in my arms. I think about it. I dream about it. I talk about it. I write about it in my letters to her.

I know that it will happen and that all the waiting will be worth it. I know that it will get harder before it gets easier.

I’ve got my seatbelt on and I’m ready for the rest of the ride!

Gingerbread House

I got sick the week before Christmas, so we were a little late in getting our annual Gingerbread house made. We finally did it on Christmas Eve Eve.

Braden helped me with the set up, then he chose to leave the decorating to his brother and sister.

Teamwork at its finest. There were only a couple minor altercations between the two of them by the time they were finished—no one got knocked off of their bar stools or anything :)

The finished product.

I thought they did a fine job.

Rhett said it was the ugliest gingerbread house ever and Gracie said it wasn’t very pretty.

I told them I thought it was pretty good-- especially for being the first one they ever did by themselves and now that they’ve had some practice,  they’d probably do much better next year.

Like a good Mom, I still have it proudly displayed on my kitchen table!