A New Me?

I have been trying to lose my "baby weight" ever since Gracie was born. Almost 26 months ago. During my pregnancy, I gained 41 pounds. At one point I had lost 20 of it. Then right before the holidays last year I decided to "take a break" from the diet and enjoy the holidays. I ended up REALLY enjoying myself during the holiday season. I gained back almost all of that 20 pounds. Since then, I have lost up to 12 of it again. Then I tore the ligament in my ankle in May and since then, I have put almost all of it back on. AGAIN. So, as I sit now, I haven't weighed myself in almost 2 weeks, but last time I weighed, I have 33 pounds to lose to get back to where I was when I got pregnant for Gracie. So, we joined the gym and I have been going. For the first time ever, I have access to a daycare so that I can drop Gracie off and go work out. I've been trying to go 3 or 4 times a week and get my heart pumping and sweat as much as I can for 45 minutes to an hour. Without hurting my ankle, of course. I've been feeling really good about myself just for getting up and going. I've been doing decent on my eating, until the weekends and seems like I pig out on bad stuff too much when we're back in BV working... I'm trying. I'll get there again.
I'm thinking about hiring a personal trainer to help me. I saw him the other day and asked him about it and he said I could have a 4 pack by my anniversary. I told him that I would love to be able to wear a bikini (and look good in it!) by my 10 year wedding anniversary, which is on May 29th.

(Jason and I would love to go on a vacation just the 2 of us for the first time since our honeymoon, to celebrate this big anniversary. On our honeymoon, we said we'd renew our vows and re-honeymoon every 10 years. So, I'm trying to put money back and we're hoping that we can work out the details to be able to do that.)

The trainer said no problem, there's plenty of time for that. I can't hardly believe it could be true, but it excites me to think about that. I'm sure he charges a million dollars for a make-over like that, so I might not do it, but I'm sure going to look in to it soon.
I talked to Jason about it, and he said, "Baby, don't worry about it. You just put that bikini on when we go on our trip no matter how much you weigh. You'll look fine. You're too hard on yourself." I couldn't help but laugh. If you haven't seen me lately, I'm no where near being in bathing suit shape, much less bikini shape! He told me that he didn't care, but said it would be nice to keep it under 400 lbs. Ha! I'm still laughing at that one! But it is such a blessing to have a husband who really does love me no matter what and really doesn't care what size I am. I will always be thankful for that. I know women who don't have husbands like that and I just can't imagine...