A Weighty Issue

So-- confession time. I'm an emotional eater. I've not always struggled with my weight, but I have ever since giving birth to my 3rd child. She was born in 2006.
I gained 42 lbs during pregnancy (which was not too bad for me- i gained 55 with my 1st and 37 with my 2nd) and when she wasn't gaining weight after birth I refused to give her formula. I just "fattened" up my milk any way I could. Cookies, fried foods, lots of dairy. And in large quantities. Not the best way to go about it, but she started gaining weight! So-- instead of losing weight during that post-partum/nursing baby period, basically I stayed the same weight.
After I weaned her at 15 months, I started to try to lose it. I had 3 young children, a stressful full time job and a husband who was starting a new business and worked more than he was home. It was hard, but I tried really hard. I'd lose 15-25. Give up. Gain it back. Several times.
When she was about 2, I got a trainer, lost about 20. Gave up. Gained it back.
Several times.
When we started our adoption journey, in March '10, I was at the lowest weight I'd been since I was last pregnant.
You guessed it. Since then, I've given up and not only gained those 25 lbs back, but about 7 more.
Around the same time, 18 months ago, I went to see a gastroenterologist because my IBS symptoms were getting worse. He gave me lots of things to try, but #1 was to cut out all artificial sweeteners. I had a pretty bad diet coke habit, but I knew I had to do something because my stomach was hurting constantly. Instead of weaning myself off of coke entirely, I just switched from Diet Coke to the real thing. I'm pretty sure I drank my way back up the weight scale with Cokes and Sweet Teas.
1 month ago, I weighed more than I've ever weighed non-pregnant. I was still going to the gym fairly regularly, and will lose a few and gain them right back or just not lose at all, despite several hard workouts a week, because I'm not making great food choices. Or I make great choices, but just eat too much of it.
Apparently I've learned the lesson that my metabolism isn't the same as we get older and I not only have to fight to lose it, but I'm going to have to fight to keep it off.
I'm not aspiring to be the same weight I was when we got married almost 13 years ago. (I've never been tiny, but I was healthy.) I just want to get in the target healthy weight zone for my height.
I don't know if any of you struggle with your weight, but what have you found that works. How do you maintain it? As you can see, that's the hard part for me.
I did the Daniel Fast for 21 days and I lost 11 lbs. I have 21 more to go. My doctor and several friends suggested Weight Watchers, so I started it on Monday. So far, i love it. I think its going to be really doable for me. The proper portion sizes of things has been especially eye opening. Although, after having fasted for 3 weeks, starting Weight Watchers feels like I've been given a free pass to an all you can eat buffet b/c I can eat anything! I didn't go to the gym while I was fasting, because I was pretty low on energy and I already have low blood sugar issues. I started back to the gym Mon am and plan to go 5 days a week again for a while, but will eventually have to cut back to 3 days due to time and schedule constraints.
So-- wish me luck!
During my fast, part of what God showed me was about my emotional issues with food (that I realize now I'd been in denial about) and reminded me that He is what I need-when I'm stressed, or sad, or angry or happy- not food. Or awful, sugary beverages. And especially bad foods....
I really do want to stay in control of my health and not let it slide again! This up and down stuff for 5.5 years has really been hard on my body as well as my mind.
I'm posting this so that maybe it will help to keep me accountable. I've chronicled weight loss here before and obviously failed to keep it off, but I'm trying again!